Chosen Fatherhood: Reflections on Joseph and the Gift of Adoption

One of today’s Mass readings was the genealogy of Jesus found in the first chapter of Matthew. It’s a passage that often gets overlooked—names upon names, tracing the generations leading to the birth of Christ. But for me, it holds a deeply personal meaning. This genealogy doesn’t trace Jesus’ lineage through Mary, but through Joseph, his adoptive father.

Joseph’s role in salvation history is often understated. While we know Jesus was conceived by the Holy Spirit and born of the Virgin Mary, Joseph was the man chosen by God to be Jesus’ earthly father. He wasn’t just a legal guardian or a figurehead. He was a father in every meaningful sense of the word—protecting, providing, and loving Jesus as his own. This truth became real to me when I was just nineteen years old and my life changed forever.

A New Fatherhood

I met Lauren in college, and soon after we started dating, I realized that life as I knew it was about to take a turn—for the better. Lauren had a son, Jackson, and I quickly fell in love with him.

At that time, I was a young college kid whose idea of a good time was getting as drunk as possible and hanging out with friends. But when Jackson came into my life, everything shifted. My Friday nights changed from parties to taking him to the playground. My TV time was no longer about what I wanted to watch but about episodes of Jay Jay the Jet Plane. Sports took on a new meaning—not as something I watched on TV, but as something I got to experience through this bundle of energy who wanted to play everything.

He became my world.

When Jackson was three, I adopted him. He took my middle and last name. From that day forward, we never hid his story from him. We wanted him to know the truth about his life. But in those early years, it was a truth he couldn’t fully understand—especially since, for almost a year and a half of his first five years, I was deployed overseas. During that time, Lauren stayed with her parents. For Jackson, any vague memories of my absence were probably just tied to “Dad being in the Army.”

It wasn’t until he was in 8th grade that all the dots connected.

A Conversation and a Calling

One night at dinner, Jackson began asking questions. He was old enough now to want to know more about where he came from, about his story. Lauren and I had agreed early on that we would tell him the truth whenever he was ready. That night, he was ready.

As we left the dinner table and climbed into my truck, I told him. I told him the story of how he became my son, of how I loved him long before my name was ever added to his. As the pieces came together, tears filled his eyes. He cried as he processed what he was hearing, and I held him close—my little boy, who wasn’t so little anymore.

In that moment, I did the only thing I knew to do: I grabbed my Bible and turned to the Gospel of Matthew. I asked him to read the genealogy of Jesus aloud, all the way to the end.

“And Jacob the father of Joseph, the husband of Mary, of whom Jesus was born, who is called Christ.”

“Read the last three names again,” I told him.

As he did, I pointed out something profound: the genealogy of Jesus, this important lineage connecting Him to King David, ran through Joseph—His adoptive father. God had chosen Joseph to be Jesus’ earthly dad.

And in the same way, I told Jackson, God had chosen me to be his dad.

Adoption and God’s Providence

The story of Joseph and Jesus is more than just a biblical detail. It’s a reflection of God’s providence and the nature of fatherhood. Joseph didn’t share Jesus’ DNA, but he shared his life. He obeyed God, cared for Jesus, protected Him, and loved Him as a father should. Joseph didn’t have to say “yes” to that role, but he did.

Fatherhood—whether biological, adoptive, or spiritual—is a divine calling. It’s not about passing on a name or a bloodline; it’s about passing on love, wisdom, and faith.

When I adopted Jackson, I didn’t just sign a piece of paper. I gave him my heart, my time, and my name. Like Joseph, I wasn’t chosen because I was perfect—I wasn’t. But God, in His grace, chose me anyway.

That night, as Jackson sat in the truck crying, I prayed that he understood this: he was not an accident, not a burden, not “somebody else’s child.” He was mine. God had written him into my life just as surely as He had written Joseph into the life of Jesus.

Chosen Love

Joseph’s story reminds us that love is a choice. When we embrace the roles God gives us, even when they are unexpected or difficult, we become part of something greater. Joseph’s simple obedience became part of God’s plan to redeem the world.

For those of us who are adoptive parents, step-parents, foster parents, or spiritual parents, Joseph is our reminder that we are chosen for a purpose. We are chosen to reflect the love of God to those He places in our care.

Every father has the opportunity to say “yes” to that calling. And every child deserves to know that they are loved not by accident, but by choice.

That’s what I hope Jackson took away that night as we sat in the truck, Bible open, tears still drying. He is my son. God chose him for me, and me for him.

And that is a gift I will always thank God for.

“And Jacob the father of Joseph, the husband of Mary, of whom Jesus was born, who is called Christ.”

(Matthew 1:16)

Joseph said “yes.”

So did I.

And I’m forever grateful that I did.