Replacing Self with Christ: A True Foundation for Change

When I was the director of a substance abuse recovery program, the community phone was placed just outside my office. Every day, I would hear men calling their family members, and those conversations were often eye-opening. They revealed more about each individual’s true state of recovery than anything they said to me directly.

Many men would begin their recovery with words of deep contrition. They would admit to living recklessly and express a desire to get sober so that their loved ones could be proud of them. But then, just moments later, I would hear them berating their mother or aunt over the phone because she couldn’t drop everything to bring them cigarettes that day. The same self-centered mindset that had fueled their addiction was still at work, shape-shifting to get what it wanted.

The Two Circles

In one of my first classes with new residents, I would draw two circles on the whiteboard. Inside each, I wrote a single word. Around the first, we would list the effects of their addiction: homelessness, unemployment, poor health, broken relationships. Then, around the second circle, we listed the opposite: homeownership, a good job, restored health, reconciled relationships.

At this point, I would ask them, “Are you seeking sobriety for these changes?” If their answer was yes, I had to be honest with them: I could not promise them those things. If their motivation for change was simply to achieve a better life, they would inevitably fall back into whatever gave them the quickest gratification.

The Deeper Issue

Addicts are often labeled as selfish, but the truth is, all of us play this same game. We could replace drugs with any number of self-serving idols—money, status, success, relationships, even ministry itself—and we’d see the same cycle play out. If we’re just trying to rearrange our circumstances, we’re still living for ourselves, and that will never lead to lasting transformation.

At this point in the lesson, I would erase the word self from the center of the second circle and replace it with Christ. Because the goal was not to replace one idol with a more socially acceptable one. It was to introduce them to the purpose they were created to live for.

If Christ is our foundation, then it no longer matters what’s written around the circle. As the Apostle Paul said:

“I know how to be brought low, and I knowhow to abound. In any and every circumstance, I have learned the secret of facing plenty and hunger, abundance and need. I can do all things through him who strengthens me.”

—Philippians 4:12-13

True change does not come from simply seeking better circumstances. It comes from surrendering our lives to Christ, trusting Him in both the highs and the lows, and letting Him be the one who defines us.